Everyone is talking about the “new normal” and I am here for all kinds of change that will come with it, including normalizing that there is NO “normal” or right way to believe, think, act, behave or live. There are merely social constructs around what we should and should not think and/or do. Your way is your normal and that is genuinely the only normal that matters.

When we are given a choice, we tend to choose what we think society wants us to instead of what we feel in our hearts is fair or morally right. I am here to tell you to follow your heart. Live life on your own terms, always. And remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices. Keep doing you, always. Some of my “personal norms” may not be aligned with those of the “social norm”, but I am 100% content with that. Two prime examples in my own personal life that come to mind I will willingly share with you all…

Example 1: I have been alcohol free for almost 2 years now and I still find the whole experience of telling someone I don’t drink incredibly awkward. Because “no thank you” is not a complete sentence when people offer alcohol. They want answers. “Really? Not even one?” … “Why not?”

The trickiest part of choosing to be booze free has been not having a solid answer to their question. Alcohol is the only drug you have to explain not using, and I’m still not sure what my explanation is. People choose sobriety for a wide variety of reasons: fitness goals, mental clarity, more energy, better sleep, religion, financial situations, and recovery from alcohol addiction – just to throw a few out there.

The only way that I can confidently answer the “why not?” question is by saying that choosing to be alcohol free has been the best feeling in the world. The positive repercussions from this decision have been incredible as well.

Example 2: Another topic that often arises is the misunderstanding around my choice to be “one and done”. People have asked (in many ways) why I only have one child. Sometimes, the question is straightforward. Other times, it starts as a concerned inquiry about my reproductive health or my priorities in life. I get unsolicited comments and questions about if or when I will be having another child. The truth is, my six year old son, Felix, has already fulfilled all of my greatest hopes as a mother. My pregnancy was smooth, delivery was uncomplicated, mom life has been marvelous, and the time we have spent together, the strong bond built between us, and our special connection is immeasurable and priceless. I have never woken up with the desire to have another child. Maybe one day I will change my mind, but probably not. It is more than okay to be a parent of an only child by choice. The best choice you can make in life is to do what is right for you and to make important decisions based on your own personal timetable and values, not society’s.

I am sure that you can think of examples in your own life as well, but never forget that it is not your duty to please others;  it is, however, your duty to honor yourself in whatever way feels authentic.

Each one of us is responsible for our own happiness, safety, economy, health, and peace of mind. Be confident and content with your personal normal. Stop listening to other’s ideas of who you should be. Don’t let society affect your life decisions. Don’t feel guilty about doing what’s best for you. Do things your own way – there is only one authentic YOU, after all. It is healthy to enforce boundaries, to say NO, and to honor your own needs. Doing what is best for you, your health, your family, your child, your eating, your workouts, or whatever else- is the most important thing you can do. There will always be someone else who doesn’t approve of what you’re doing because that may not be what is best for them… but guess what? That’s okay! Life would be so boring if we were all the same – doing the exact same things – all the time. Embrace your uniqueness. And always protect your peace.

My concise list of things that I would like to see “normalized” in society:

• Being booze-free/sober
• Not having children/more than one child
• Doing what makes you happy
• Trusting your intuition
• Taking time for yourself
• Physical & mental self-love
• Women in positions of power
• Breastfeeding in public
• Body diversity
• Conversations about race/racism
• Promoting cultural inclusion
• Discussions about mental health
• Helping others
• Growing, changing, evolving

Most importantly, let us normalize acceptance, and caring, and compassion, and empathy, and kindness, and true happiness.